Friday, October 8, 2010

My Beautiful Wife, Emotions, and Spaghetti

I have been married for a little over two months now, so at this point I would like to consider myself and expert… ok maybe I wouldn’t go that far, but I have learned many things about my wife in these past two months of marriage, and I would like to share at least one of them with you.

Warning: I will be talking a bit about sex in the paragraphs to come, so brace yourselves or turn away.

Making the Emotional Connection:

It turns out that during the course of a day a woman becomes disconnected from her husband, and it is important that a connection be re-established upon meeting up after a day of work. I, being a semblance of a man, didn’t realize this. In my man brain my thoughts are “We texted and emailed each other at work, there has been no break in our connectedness”. I was wrong, and one thing I learned is that texting and emailing are no substitute for face to face conversation.

Making the emotional connection is fairly simple. All I have to do is ask her about her day, and listen, and from time to time ask follow up questions. I found this is very important, and helps my wife feel the love I have for her. But that isn’t the only reason it is important for me to ask about her day.

There is a book titled “Men are Waffles, Women are Spaghetti” or something of that nature. The book goes on to state that men like waffles, can compartmentalize better than women. Meaning that parts of men’s lives are less likely to affect other parts of their lives. Women on the other hand are like spaghetti, every part of their lives affects every other part of their lives, it is all jumbled together like spaghetti. This is the other reason it is imperative that I ask about my wife’s day. If she had something happen at work, or something happened with her family etc. it is important that I know what happened, and how it affected her for several reasons...

1) The most important reason, is that I can be there for her, so that I can comfort her through whatever trial she is faced with. So that I can lovingly lead her, and know how she is emotionally and how I can help her/serve her best.

2) Sex, I like most men have a hair trigger, we can have great sex anytime any where. My lovely wife, like most women, needs to feel emotionally engaged, and needs to feel safe, secure, and loved when making whoopee. Things that go wrong at work with her family with me etc. always affects her sexual experience. I want her to be happy, and want her to want to give herself to me freely completely, feeling safe and secure and that all is right with the world.

3) Learning about my Wife. I love my wife dearly and want to be her best student, learning about her day and how things affect her helps me get to know her better, and that is something I love.

I love that my wife is a complex puzzle that I have yet to totally figure out or understand but I am looking forward to taking a lifetime to do it. (although my goal is to do it in half the time so that I will have the other half free to enjoy her completely).

Much Love,
Ryan

1 comment:

Cindy said...

You will never completely get to know your wife. Your wife will never completely know herself, God is the only one who will know Kaci completely. That is why it is important to pray for her daily :)