Repentance

I was reading an article by Mark Driscoll yesterday and, to be honest I kind of skimmed the first section talking about “Religious Repentance”, but I looked at the article again today and had a revelation of sorts.

Lately I have had free time on my hands (particularly at work) so I have had time to read various news articles and keep up on the times, it has also given me an opportunity to think and reflect. Unfortunately much of my reflection has been outward instead of inward. I haven’t thought of what I have been doing wrong, what I could be doing right or better or what I could be doing for other people. Instead I have been looking a lot on what people are doing wrong. What is wrong with our country, what is wrong with the Church what is wrong with so-and-so to the extent that I am starting to feel like the Pharasee in the parable Jesus told in Luke 9…

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

I should never forget the fact that I am a sinner and no better than anyone else.

Father God forgive me of my sin, and cleans me of my pride.

Much Love,
Ryan

Life Changes

These past twelve months have sent me into life overdrive. Getting a girlfriend, changing churches, gaining new friends, getting engaged, becoming a leader, learning to become a man, getting married, all the things involved with a wedding, honey-moon, being married etc. A fast pace was set. I think I have, for the most part, lived a fairly fast paced life, whether it was marital arts or ministry something was always going on.

Then someone hit the brakes, life slowed down. The activities were less frequent, travelling was less frequent, more time was spent at home. This was expected to an extent but I feel like my life suddenly became boring. Don’t get me wrong, I mean I love being married, but I guess I expected it to be more work then it actually was. On top of that my job slowed down to the point where I was bored the majority of the day. The meaninglessness of life is/was caving in around me. It makes me question things, like “What difference does it make?”, but I think the biggest thing is my lack of contentment. It turns out that when you don’t have a whole lot going on you tend to get squirmy, and discontent.

My contentment should be found in Jesus, and I think that you can “over do” it but at the same time I don’t think God made me (or anyone) to sit around all day. He made us to do things*, to work the fields, to protect our families, to build relationships, all glorifying Him.

As my work isn’t doing an adequate job of making me tired from a days work, and since I am involved in ministry, I am going to start “working the fields”. I am going to do what God built all people to do WORK, because I am meant to be physically tired at the end of the day. This means running and moving weight. I think this will also help my confidence (not necessarily pride), and confidence is needed when leading.
Much Love,
Ryan